Your Most Important Conversation
What’s the most important conversation you’ll ever have in your life?
The conversation you have with yourself starts when you begin to form sentences and continues on for the rest of your life. The way you talk to yourself, day in and day out, matters. The conversation you have with yourself is the most important one you’ll ever have.
We take external messaging and internalize it
From our early years, we take in information from our caregivers, environment and experiences. This information forms the basis of our fundamental views of the world. The fundamental views we form in childhood affect our political beliefs, relationship dynamics and views of ourselves and others into our adult life.
Reflecting on our caregivers’ actions can often inform how we view the world today. For example, if our caregivers were trying to make ends meet at the end of every month, we may hold the belief that money is hard to come by. These beliefs are stored in the subconscious, under the layer of conscious observation.
Remembering what we saw in society can also inform how we view the world. If most people of our gender were staying home and not involved in financial decisions, we may hold the belief that people of my gender identity are expected to keep up the household whether or not we choose to pursue a career.
In addition to our caregivers’ actions and social norms, issues of racial inequity, gender expectations and immigrant experiences can form a multifaceted web of beliefs. We start to form beliefs such as, “People who look like me can’t do that,” “I can’t make it that far because that takes a lot of money,” or “I have to work twice as hard to get to where she is.” When these beliefs go unchecked, we internalize them and give them power.
“Most of us are totally unaware that our inner conversations are the causes of the circumstances of our life.”
Neville
Our internal world creates our external reality
Internalized beliefs create and shape our reality more than we realize. If you were to examine your thoughts, even for one day, you’ll notice that your daily thoughts reinforce the long-held beliefs you have already formed but not necessarily chosen. For example, if I saw that making ends meet at the end of the month was stressful, I may avoid asking for a promotion at work or I may put off budgeting until it becomes a problem. The internalized belief that money is hard to come by effectively blocks one from receiving more — either through a promotion and pay raise or through wise budgeting and planning.
Internal belief patterns around relationships, money, success, love and even worthiness create the reality that we experience in the physical world.
“What you think,
you become.
What you feel,
you attract.
What you imagine,
you create.”
Buddha
When we bring awareness to this inner dialogue, we have incredible power — anything is possible!
It seems like a never-ending cycle, doesn’t it? So what can we do? It’s possible to change fundamental beliefs once they’ve formed with awareness, effort and grace. More importantly, there is a way to align your internal thoughts with the reality you desire to experience and the life you desire to create!
First, we have to take stock of the external messaging we received and from whom. Examine whose beliefs you may have taken on as your own. Notice how that might inform your thoughts as they are now. Journaling, meditating or talking to someone can help you become aware of external messaging and your thoughts. For journaling, try a few of these prompts below:
- What was my caregivers’ relationship to each other like?
- What was my caregivers’ relationship to me like?
- What did my caregivers believe about relationships?
- What did my caregivers believe about money?
- What did my caregivers believe about love?
- What did my caregivers believe about success?
- What did my caregivers believe about self-worth?
- What did my caregivers believe about the purpose of life?
- What did society tell me was expected of me?
- In what ways have I taken on my caregivers’ beliefs with the topics above?
- What do I really believe about relationships, money, love, success, self-worth and the purpose of life?
- In what ways have I been living out of alignment with my truth?
- In what ways have I been living from fear?
If you are meditating, set a 10 minute timer to contemplate the questions above and see what comes up in your meditation. If you choose to talk to someone, tell them the answers to these questions above and see where it takes you.
Second, allow yourself grace for going deep into your subconscious and uncovering the multifaceted layers of beliefs. This contemplation is so powerful but it can be very heavy in the beginning to navigate. Celebrate going into this subconscious portal that will take you to limitless possibility.
You create your life, converse with the universe and shape your future all by how you talk to yourself. If you knew this, why would you choose negative and untrue thoughts for yourself?
This doesn’t mean you can’t think negatively and have bad days or bad hours. We are human and we are here to experience the full range of human emotion. Every emotion is sacred and necessary. When we feel pain or grief, it’s important to FEEL it and not bypass the feeling.
However, when we start spinning in the mental struggle — that is different. That is a choice. We often choose the negative, unhelpful and untrue thoughts over the authentic, aligned and helpful thoughts. For example, if I have a hard time with budgeting, I may say to myself, “I’m no good with managing my money. My money is all over the place, I can’t get a handle on it. I can’t stick to a budget because I’ve tried but it’s impossible.” This is a choice to stay in the struggle. By talking to myself in this way, I invite even more scarcity, lack and inefficiency into my life. I reinforce scarcity in my life through my spiral of negative self-talk.
If I have done steps one and two, then I would be aware that my negative self-talk around budgeting comes from the actions of my caregivers (stressing to make ends meet every month) and the beliefs I internalized about money (money is hard to come by). This awareness empowers me to choose a different set of thoughts around money.
If I want to create wealth and abundance in my life, I might choose to say to myself, “Budgeting has been challenging for me in the past but I choose to learn and implement a simple method of budgeting today. I know I can get a handle on budgeting because I am smart and resourceful. I have many options to choose from in order to make myself accountable and stick to my budget. If I need help, I can ask and receive support.” For many of us, this will be the first time that we have chosen the thoughts and feelings that we really want. The more we practice discarding unwanted and unhelpful beliefs, the easier it will become to choose our desired beliefs.
“All that we are is a result of what we have thought.”
Buddha
This shift in perspective can train the mind to think thoughts that are authentic, helpful, kind and aligned with your truth. Bringing awareness to negative self-talk and transforming beliefs into the truth can help you create your desired life, feel more confident about your abilities and take action towards your goals and desires.
Surrender to this process and watch how your life improves! I offer even more support in transforming your negative self-talk through my 30-day course, Sacred Conversations with Your Inner Being. There are 4 weeks worth of deep, thought-provoking worksheets, yogic insights, custom meditations, journal prompts and two virtual one-one-one sessions with me. And that’s not including the amazing bonuses! Visit www.meghatiwari.com/sacred-conversations to learn more and join!
To summarize, my process of transforming negative self-talk looks like:
- Slow down and examine your current thoughts and where they come from
- Allow grace and celebrate the limitless portal you are opening up
- Choose the thoughts you really desire and are in alignment with your highest truth
- Keep practicing discarding unwanted beliefs and consciously choosing desired beliefs
- Surrender to the process and enjoy your transformation
- Join my 30-day course for individualized support on your journey
“For as one thinks within his heart, so is he.”
Proverbs 23:7
